I’m looking at something called “Monkey Butter”. Do you really think I’m here for my health? LOL
One of the great joys in life is cold pizza for breakfast.
Actually cold pizza and orange juice. So yummy. Pizza is actually pretty good any dang time, any dang way. Sometimes though you really do want it slightly warmer than arctic.
Last night, about 12:30, I was feeling a bit peckish (that’s hungry, in American parlance). I had some pizza in the fridge – pepperoni & mushroom – but I wanted it hot. I just had a taste for the ooey-gooeyness of melted cheese.
I don’t currently have a microwave, so the only way to get the ooey-gooey would have been to pop it in the oven, ramp up the temp and be careful not to let it burn. Then I recalled something I had run into during my travels on the interwebz – heating up cold pizza in a frying pan. I think it was in some “life hack” article. I decided to try this.
Cold pizza would have been a quick shot to the fridge then right back.
But cold is not what I wanted, so I did the responsible adult thing – I didn’t indulge in late night snacking. Okay, I only did it ‘cuz reheating would take time and my lazy overcame my hungry/ooey-gooey urge, but still – I did something responsible. (We must take joy in the little things, no matter how they come to us.)
Besides, I wasn’t sure if you needed to add something to the pan besides the pizza, and I wasn’t gonna take the time to start the computer and look it up. Also, the bed was so nice and warm.
So, fast forward to morning and pizza for breakfast is on my mind. Fired up the computer, found something, then set out to test this method. It’s supposed to crisp the crust and get you to a nice level of ooey-gooey. Does it work? Um … hell yeah!
Heating it up in the frying pan is a great method that beats zapping in the microwave or sticking it in the oven. In the microwave, if you’re not careful, you could end up with pockets of tongue-destroying molten lava and borders of granite strong hardened crust. In the oven, you’ll get hot, but the crispness won’t really be where you want it. Frying it up in the pan gets you a good crispy crust and melty goodness.
You have to start it off at a low temp and it does take a few minutes for it to heat up properly. Eventually you’ll see the solid mass of cheese loosen up and start to glisten. Just keep checking on it and pretty soon it’ll be like the pizza was just brought fresh to your door. Just make sure you don’t over crisp the crust in your quest for the ooey gooey.
Okay. So I was just traumatized … by my breakfast. Here’s what happened:
I’d seen pork belly used lots of times; as a bacon-like addition or mostly as a main entree. I only remember seeing it as a big rectangular slab.
Well, I finally got some from the store. It was packaged a bit differently – like two long super duper thick bacon-strip looking hunks, but okay I can work with it.
Today I decided to use it. Nothing fancy, mind you, just cutting it into something manageable, frying it up and having it with eggs and toast. I was actually looking forward to it.
I open the package to see how to handle it and I notice … something. On the edge.
Um, what is that nubby little thing?
No. It can’t be, could it?
Yes – it’s a nipple! Take a closer look.
There’s a nipple. On my food.
Upon closer examination I saw that there were actually 2 nipples on there. I thought, um, okay, I’ll just use the other piece in the package or I can just cut off the nipple edge and still use it. But nope. Nope, nope, nope.
I know pork comes from a pig. And I know it’s pork belly, but you just … don’t expect to see a nipple on your breakfast meat. I am not eating that. I can’t. I really … I just … I can’t. I can’t do it. It’s just — ewwwwwww.
I feel stupid and bad for wasting food, ‘cuz there are starving people … everywhere, but … not doing it. Not even willing to touch it anymore. No. No. No.
Okay … maybe.
Oh, I don’t know. It’s in my freezer, so it might make it into a hot pan. Eventually. But right now it’s still skeeving me out. In the end I just pan-fried some turkey pastrami instead and made an egg sandwich.
Do I think this will turn me into a vegetarian? No. It does, however, make me wish I had gotten real bacon.
Breakfast nipples??? Geez
OMG. This is like … a pumpkin orgasm in my mouth. Yeah I said it. And that’s exactly what I meant.
Possibly the simplest recipe in the universe:
|*1 – 15 oz can of pumpkin|
|*1 box cake mix (any flavor)|
|*The batter will be thick, so depending on your taste you might want to thin it out with some water|
|*Mix until it’s well blended.|
|*Pour into your prepared baking vessel|
|*Bake according to cake mix directions|
|*Cool. Serve. Enjoy.|
Yet it’s the richest, most scrumptious, mouth-satisfyingly, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-est thing in the history of all creation.
I really like pumpkin pie, even though I think sweet potato pie has a much more complex flavor to it. But this culinary “cheat” that I mixed up last night is just freaking out of this world.
Now, when I say I mixed up I don’t mean to say that I came up with the idea. No, no, no, no my friends. I first saw mention of it through Hungry Girl*.
Since I’m currently living life on the cheap and I never completely follow the proper instructions I just threw in one 29 oz can of pumpkin and 2 boxes of $.75 Jiffy yellow cake mix. And since I didn’t use a proper cake pan it took almost an hour and a half for a knife to come out relatively clean. Even then the cake was set but still had that nice liquidy pie feel when I stuck a forkful in my mouth. It coated my tongue like melted velvet.
Rich and … gooey. It had me wishing for some nice vanilla ice cream to go on top.
Sinful, just decadently sinful. I would joyfully do severe penance for a tiny morsel of this magnificence in my mouth. Anytime.
And yeah – I meant to say that, too.
*I’m not sure if I read it on her website or actually heard her mention it on Dr. Oz one day. Hungry Girl’s real name is Lisa Lillien, and she has tons of ideas and advice on cutting the fat and the calories from things we eat without sacrificing the taste or texture and enjoyable mouth feel of something.