… but I digress

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! January 1, 2019

Jan 1, 2019.

Well, hopefully, you made it through safe and happy.

The New Year brings new challenges, new opportunities, and new hope for better days.

I’m not making any formal resolutions, I just have vague thoughts of “doing better”. For me that’s definitely going to be getting more active – going from human slug to actual movement.  Actually slugs are a little gross, with the slime and all, so maybe change that to the standard “couch potato”.

“Doing better” always, hopefully, involves more blog posts.  I’m not committing to every day but I need to get expressive and put stuff out here.  There may even be more poetry.  Yay, said … no one???

Some of them may be good.  A lot of them will probably be lame, but whatev.  Never know ’til you start, right.

Anyway, just wanted to get something on here.  I came across this on twitter, earlier today, and I think it’s perfect:

 

 

Have a great tuesday, y’all!!

 

no rush… (via Read Between the Minds) August 13, 2011

no rush... with his bare hands he began to write out his suicide note he had considered typing it so there would be no confusion about why but it seemed rather impersonal and he always felt that communications should have some humanity to it so he decided to write it out in longhand but was worried that he might misspell some words since he was so used to using spellcheck he could type it out first and then transfer it to letterhead but someone might think … Read More

via Read Between the Minds

 

to a poet having lost faith… (via Read Between the Minds) June 25, 2011

to a poet having lost faith... you have forgotten the first rule love thyself as you would another without that love becomes a person or object to be held and possessed not fulfillment of self or even love of the other look not to the horizon but in the mirror for what you seek to understand that which love is and can be is there … Read More

via Read Between the Minds

 

don’t let the door… (via Read Between the Minds) June 12, 2011

don't let the door... after you've finished ranting and raving about how unfair life has treated you and you've told the last person who will listen all your misfortunes perhaps on your way out you could take a moment to explain to the child in north korea why they're always hungry and to the ones in angola what happened to their mothers and fathers you could eve … Read More

via Read Between the Minds

 

YEAREND RAMBLE December 31, 2010

 

Today is Dec 31. The last day of 2010. My plan for the day is to go through some paperwork and other crap. Out with the old, etcetera, etcetera as Yul Brynner would say.

 

I have 2 boxes of “archive” files. 1 box is my files – old bank records and tax filings, whatever. The other – belongs to the dead. Mother, father, great, great aunt. Papers from probate and such, papers from their lives before I even existed.

 


Lots and lots of files

 

Old papers tell a lot of unknown stories and lead to a myriad of questions that can’t even begin to be answered without joining Ancestry.com. It was in going through the papers that I found out my dad was in the Army. And it was from these papers that I also realized (found out) that I am a bastard. My date of birth – May 30, 1964. My parents wedding – sometime later. Hmmm, okay. That made a couple of things make sense.

 

For example – later in life my dad became really religious and got into the church, became a deacon. He was always wanting me to join and get baptized. Apparently I never was ( guess it was the whole bastard thing) I remember when my mother was really sick, people from the church came to visit and give communion.* My father wouldn’t let me take it and I never understood why. Oh well. I went to catholic school from grades 5 through the end of high school so I had already chewed that dry cracker a bunch of times anyway, but I just thought it was odd.

 

My plan for 2011 – well maybe not a plan. Just my hope, one of them anyway, is to remove the words “It’s complicated” from my relationship status.

 

I am deeply in love with someone and he’s deeply in love with me. He’s a man of secrets and presently I am one of them. I do know he’s been revealing the idea of me to his kids and a couple of friends, so I guess that’s progress, of a sort.

 

He’s mentioned the “m” word and the plan (my hope) is that by this time next year it’ll actually come to be. But each absence and period of radio silence frustrates me. I feel like I’m waiting for the next phase of my new life to begin, but it never actually happens. I’m attached yet separate; thinking about a life together yet existing alone.

 

Marriage is something I never imagined would happen for me. You think most little girls dream of their wedding day in full Technicolor detail. I didn’t. I never thought anyone would ever want to put up with me in that way. I just knew I would die a virgin. ** (Don’t worry, the fortress has been breached. And fun was had storming the castle). But I think I’ll save the post on marriage for another time. That’s a whole big confusing mishegas I don’t wanna deal with right now. Best to just reflect, take stock, enjoy the successes, accept the failures, strive to do better and look forward to the future.

 

*In writing this out long hand I was thinking communion, but I actually wrote out communism. Veddy, veddy interesting slip, dontcha think?

 

** TMI? Um … have you met me?

 

 

RANDOM PARTING THOUGHT

 


 

 
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