… but I digress

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Ch-ch-ch-changes September 16, 2015

Filed under: Found Objects — jerzygirl45 @ 12:31 pm
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A Note From the Universe November 5, 2013







#Quote – Anatole France November 2, 2011




Acceptance, small changes, and baby steps May 6, 2011

Filed under: postaday2011,Ramblings — jerzygirl45 @ 12:06 am
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I need to establish a routine, or a set of routines. In October or so I started walking. To get myself out of the house, and for general exercise, which I desperately need. Come the approach of winter, frost on the pumpkin and all that, I stopped. I adopted a nice fluffy pillow and a bowl of pasta as my frequent companions and let them seduce me. And my God, did they have their way with me.


So now it’s May. Freaking May! There have been some days of fairly temperate weather but still I fall slave to the doughy and the fluffy. (And the cheesy and the chocolaty.)


At present I am not at my fighting weight. What is that weight? Damned if I know – I’ve never had a fight in my life! I am about 41 pounds lighter than I was a couple of years ago, which is great. But this time last year I was even lighter. Well, as light as a heavily sauced bowl of pasta covered with crispy fried couch potato chips can ever manage to be. I slowly put some of that weight back on. And I can feel it.


I feel it in my back, my knees and my feet when I walk a simple block. (Well the blocks in my city are reeeeeallly long. Really) I feel it in my lungs when I’m huffing and puffing more than somebody without an oxygen tank should have to. I feel it in my sometimes hardened gut. That’s not a six-pack people, that’s a family pack.


Establish routines and healthy habits. That’s the beginning. Change one little thing. Like oh, I don’t know – not staying up till 2 and getting up at 11 am might be a winner. I had started something back in October. Now I need to restart it up again.

I also need to make a move. Into the world. Flirting and verbal wordplay is fun, exciting and very satisfying to the ego. But eventually if nothing else happens, if you don’t make an actual physical appearance in the game, then you just become the girl who cried “fuck me”. (Like the boy who cried “wolf”, get it? Huh? Never mind)


Why haven’t I been present? Some of it is timing. And funding. Depending on where you catch me in the month, I can’t hang. But some of it is that good old standard – fear of rejection. I don’t want to see the “wow – you so do not look like your voice, your conversation, your attitude, whatever” look. I don’t want to see the spark that started with great conversation and a virtual mind meld just fade to black like the red light in the eye of The Terminator. Think I’m paranoid? Review this post and tell me that. Long story short – he saw my picture, got offended because I wasn’t the pretty little package he fantasized about and accused me of being fake.


Yet at the same time being virtual gives me the chance to feel safe (cool and fun and charming and sexy) and not reveal how ridiculously awkward, self-conscious and pathetically socially inept I can be. But I should be present. People I’ve met in real life like me. They think I’m nice and cool and fun and charming. I don’t know if they think I’m sexy, but I think they know I got a little something-something going on. One guy even called me “adorable” once.


Is that why I “hide” behind a variety of avi’s instead of an actual picture of me? Not really. I’ve put up a real picture a couple of times, but I don’t wanna see my face pop up every time I post something on Tweetdeck or go to my profile page. It’s boring. I put the avi’s up basically to entertain myself.


I kinda like me, for the most part. More than I use to. Maybe I just accept my flaws. Quirks, let’s call them. My crankiness, etc is just part of my charm. And if somebody I meet doesn’t get me, then, oh well. It doesn’t make them shallow and it doesn’t make me the “better” person. It just didn’t work out the way we’d hoped and you gotta keep moving along.


I saw this quote, somewhere (maybe on Tumblr) and I need to live it, every day:














Becoming an anonymous social butterfly November 10, 2010


Twitter with no regrets




Today is my Twitter anniversary. It’s been one year since I signed on to this thing called Twitter. Never actually intended to do much on here. I thought it was all rather silly and a total waste of time. It certainly couldn’t be anything that would capture my attention or have any sort of effect on my life.

Well – that just proves how much I know! These are just a few of the highlights of

“My Year of Twittering Dangerously”




  • I now listen to Shinedown and Saliva more than B-52’s.


  • I have shared wildly inappropriate thoughts and things with you guys, some of them in private DM’s and emails, but mostly in this public forum


  • Got into a minor dustup with someone which got me to consider rethinking this whole “put yourself out there” social media thing.


  • Became the fledgling object of someone’s #twittercrush – then got unfollowed and blocked (!) and accused of being a liar just for being myself, causing me to crawl back into my shell for a brief questioning moment


  • Developed my own massive #twittercrush, which still persists in some part to this day


  • I’ve been called a prostitute, a dyke (with an extended clit :=O) and, for the first time ever, the “n” word. All in the space of one weekend. But you guys had my back, skateboards and Priuses at the ready


  • Never listened to a podcast before Twitter. Now I try to catch a few of them religiously


  • I originally signed up to follow @KevinSpacey. Then I added @sutterink to support #sonsofanarchy. Now I follow over 470 people and am in turn followed by over 580.


  • Me following a bunch of people – I get that – there’re so many smart, funny interesting, bizarre, sexy people to read, chat with, think about. Why you people follow me is still a bit of a mystery (well, except for you internet marketing people. We all know what your deal is). I thank all of you guys for following me and hope you find something interesting, crazy, funny, and occasionally thought provoking in my strange flights of fancy and madness.


  • This twitter community has helped me to express myself, discover myself, engage, and think. It’s sparked my once deadened interest in life and creativity and yes, love.


  • I’ve discovered a world of creativity, a world of possibilities and quite a fascinating little world of kink out there.


  • So I’d just like to say, from the heart –



    *MUAH* & *HUGS*

    *as @jerzygirl45 cops a feel*





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