Okay. So I was just traumatized … by my breakfast. Here’s what happened:
I’d seen pork belly used lots of times; as a bacon-like addition or mostly as a main entree. I only remember seeing it as a big rectangular slab.
Well, I finally got some from the store. It was packaged a bit differently – like two long super duper thick bacon-strip looking hunks, but okay I can work with it.
Today I decided to use it. Nothing fancy, mind you, just cutting it into something manageable, frying it up and having it with eggs and toast. I was actually looking forward to it.
I open the package to see how to handle it and I notice … something. On the edge.
Um, what is that nubby little thing?
No. It can’t be, could it?
Yes – it’s a nipple! Take a closer look.
There’s a nipple. On my food.
Upon closer examination I saw that there were actually 2 nipples on there. I thought, um, okay, I’ll just use the other piece in the package or I can just cut off the nipple edge and still use it. But nope. Nope, nope, nope.
I know pork comes from a pig. And I know it’s pork belly, but you just … don’t expect to see a nipple on your breakfast meat. I am not eating that. I can’t. I really … I just … I can’t. I can’t do it. It’s just — ewwwwwww.
I feel stupid and bad for wasting food, ‘cuz there are starving people … everywhere, but … not doing it. Not even willing to touch it anymore. No. No. No.
Okay … maybe.
Oh, I don’t know. It’s in my freezer, so it might make it into a hot pan. Eventually. But right now it’s still skeeving me out. In the end I just pan-fried some turkey pastrami instead and made an egg sandwich.
Do I think this will turn me into a vegetarian? No. It does, however, make me wish I had gotten real bacon.
Breakfast nipples??? Geez