Nothing dramatic here, just a little face palm moment.
Okay – so I don’t have a cat, but you get the idea.
Today I got locked out of my apartment. Well, to be more precise – I locked myself out of my apartment. Yeah, I know, duh?!?
Whenever I leave I throw my keys in my bag, flip the doorknob lock, pull the door closed and go. Which is exactly what I did this morning. Except for the throw my keys in the bag part. Because of my locking myself out in the past, (7 am, Sunday, out in the hallway 3 bags of laundry, purse and quarters on the other side of the door), I usually check like 2 or 3 times to make sure I have everything I need. For some reason I didn’t. Maybe ‘cuz I was taking out garbage too and my hands were full, maybe ‘cuz I’m a goofball – who knows?
Anyway – I drag the garbage to the back of the building, and stand out front to wait for the cab. I go in my bag to check the time on my phone and, out of habit, I scrounge around for the feel of the keys. *blink* Not there. Um – okay – maybe they’re just in a crevice or something. After visually scouring and manually assaulting the innards of my handbag I realize my error. Shit. Sorry, make that shite. (That’s the SAMCRO way)
What to do, what to do?
Well, I could call my landlord to see if he had a spare. (Long shot, since he had to borrow my spare key to the front door after losing his.) Do it now or deal with it when I get back? I’m already out, cab’s coming – just pick up the scrips, get the groceries and figure it out later.
While waiting for the cab I check out the thoroughly awesome street blockage nearby:
As Janie says –
“If only it were summertime & the workmen could be shirtless!”
Wow – in a few weeks all of that will be in front of my building!
So I finished shopping: groceries are gotten and I’m chillin’ outside. No need to rush. Called & left a message for landlord. He calls back a couple of minutes later – he’s out of town and doesn’t have a spare (Why am I not surprised?). Says he’ll call his mom to see if she has one and he’ll make arrangements to have somebody meet me at the house to figure it out. Right about now I’m really regretting not learning how to use those lock pick tools I found many years ago.
Lock-picking tools don’t burglarize homes, people do!
Ooookay … Even though I’m envisioning hours sitting in the hallway,
Me hallway (not as creepy as it looks)
ground beef growing warm, milk turning to cottage cheese
Me groceries (Oh, when can I nom-nom?)
and staring at my apartment door longingly hoping to get to the other side,
I think it’s mocking me
I’m just gonna go home and hope for the best.
As much as I may bitch about her getting on my nerves, the landlord’s mother came through like a champ. I got home at 10:58 (fortunately the hallway door was wide open), she showed up maybe 10 minutes later, and I was inside by 11:13.
The inner sanctum – Yay!!
Safe and sound, guarding the microwave.
The lesson for today: Make 5 sets of spares and tape them to your body before you go out? When your first instinct says “stay in bed”, do it? Well, possibly. I don’t know – maybe that situations aren’t always as bad as they seem and that your imagination can make things much worse than the actuality?
But hey – what do I know? I need back-up to get into my own apartment!
You know how you can listen to a song for years – love it, sing it out loud (privately, when no one else is around because your singing really kinda sucks) and then one day something in this oh-so-familiar piece of music just hits you in a different way and then you realize – “Wait – what was that?”
Yeah – that just happened.
So I’m listening to “Penny Lane” by The Beatles and the line “a four of fish and finger pies” came up.
“OMG! – those cheeky bastards”
I’m shocked, just shocked. Firstly at the sneaky, filthy reference and secondly that I, as a woman with a decidedly one-track mind (that track leading straight to the gutter, of course) never even picked up on it until now.
Kimmie, you’re getting slow in your old age…
Friday, November 25, 2011, 12:00 AM
It’s officially Black Friday.
How exciting. I’ve made preparations and everything’s set.
I can’t wait to head off to:
1: What do you put on hotdogs?
Mustard & relish, usually. Although a good chili dog is wonderful thing. Unless Chucky Marstein is making the chili #SOA
2: Do you say “anticlimatic” or “anticlimactic”?
3: Do you check flyers before grocery shopping?
Yes, I check the weekly circular for my store and make a list of stuff I’m interested in.
Then I throw everything into my online grocery cart and weed out crap I don’t really need. Then I either place the order online for delivery or print it out so I’ll know what’s on sale when I go in person. It’s a project.
4: Blue, black, or some other colour pen ink?
Black. Black, black. Preferably from a fine point pen.
5: Do you use your parking brake?
I just jump out while it’s still rolling. Just kidding – I don’t have a car.
6: Look to your left. How many framed pictures are on the wall?
a poster from the movie “Rent”
7: Do you know how to play chess?
Always wanted to learn, but it takes me forever to pick up the intricacy of some games
8: How often do you clean the interior of your car?
It takes no time at all, since I don’t have one. And I don’t really wanna break into someone else’s to satisfy my raging car cleaning urges. That’s why I have medication.
9: Do you ever read the last few pages first?
I think I’ve only done it a couple of times.
10: Ever fallen in the shower?
No – but I have slipped a couple of times, grabbed the curtain and scared the crap out of myself. Of course, there was a guy with a knife taking a piss nearby, so that could have spooked me too.
11: On a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to swear at other drivers?
I don’t drive, so I’d have to say -27. Although I have imagined swearing at people online. Well, I actually have sweared at them, but they never knew it.
12: What’s the worst thing you’ve ever called someone you care about?
Probably a bitch, I think.
13: Do you have a Snuggie?
No – I have boobs.
14: Are you allergic to anything?
No foods that I’m aware of (although it might be better if I were) I am allergic to any sort of
ACE inhibitor medication
15: Do you have any TV shows on DVD?
Yes. I have early seasons of Bones, Supernatural, Saving Grace, Criminal Minds, Damages,The Dave Chappelle Show, NCIS, Shark, Living Single, Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles and The Closer.
I have complete seasons of Daybreak, American Gothic, Profit, Kidnapped, Murder One, Monique’s Fat Chance (it was a gift), Oz, and Wanted
16: How many times do you hit the snooze button before finally getting out of bed?
Threw away my alarm clock when it broke a couple of years ago. I set my tv to turn on a ½ hour before I need to get up. That seems to work pretty well.
17: Ever driven away in anger?
Again – I DON’T HAVE A CAR!!!! And perhaps it’s best that I don’t
18: What’s your favourite freezie colour?
I’m presuming “freezie” is the neon colored liquid of indeterminate chemical makeup encased in plastic that you stick in the freezer for a couple of hours, pull out then suck on so it gets all slushy in your mouth. Going with that presumption I think my favorite (not favourite) color was blue. Haven’t had one since I was a child.
Now if, by “freezie”, you’re referring to some sort of sex trick performed with ice cubes, then I’m not sure what “color” (not colour) would be a favorite. Frankly, if it’s turning colors, then you’ve been doing it too long and perhaps should wrap that thing in a “Snuggie” or some other very soft and warm enclosure.
19: Are you a vegetarian?
Ketchup’s a vegetable, right? No – I am not a vegetarian. I’ve thought about it, but I don’t really like that many veggies, and I adore the smell, taste and feel of a nice piece of meaty beefiness or chickeniness or porkiness cooked within an inch of its afterlife, and served on a bun.
20: Do you have a garbage receptacle beside you? What’s on top?
21: Do you cross out your mistakes or erase/whiteout them?
I cross them out.
I can never find the white out, and I don’t write with a pencil very often.
22: Ever torn something up that you instantly knew was too important for such treatment?
Can’t remember exactly what it was, but I was probably looking for something, couldn’t find it , and went into a sudden “let’s clean up and toss this shit” frenzy and ripped up something I shouldn’t have.
23: Do you think that things will get better?
I honestly don’t know.
I’ve been trying to think positive and focus on good stuff but times are scary these days.
24: Do you have an unpopular opinion? What is it?
I probably have a bunch of them depending on who I’m speaking with at the time and the nature of the conversation. For example – I believe in the Right to Choose and one of my FB “friends” (someone I used to work with) responded to something I posted with a more conservative Right to Life belief. No gray – just a strictly black and white view on the issue.
We didn’t argue or anything, I kind of cut off the discussion ‘cuz those people make me wanna smash my head into a wall. Or theirs. Mostly theirs.
25: What’s your favourite quote?
There are 2. “No matter where you go, there you are” – Buckaroo Banzai. “So it goes” – Slaughterhouse 5 – Kurt Vonnegut
26: Did you/are you going to go to prom?
I didn’t go to my prom, back in the Stone Age.
But since I’ve been cruising the local high schools I think I might have a shot come next spring. (Cross your fingers!)
27: What’s the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced?
Let’s just say it had to do with a truly horrendous Aunt Flo issue. The most – uncomfortable thing I’ve experienced, physically, would be having a breathing tube inserted down my throat. While I was awake. After having another tube inserted down by the back of my throat through my nostril. Yeah – good times.
28: What’s the most emotionally/mentally painful thing you’ve ever experienced?
The death of my dad. The death of my mom. Falling deeply in love and just being used and abandoned with no explanation whatsoever and not being able to snap out of it.
29: Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life?
Nope. I’ve done a couple of good deeds, but nothing that good.
30. What’s your favourite book genre?
I like fiction.
A good friend started me on a supernatural vampire romance series. Legal thrillers. I can’t really pick a favorite. I’m all over the place.
31: Did you like “Gigli”? Be honest.
Didn’t see it. Will never see it. I try to avoid Ben Affleck movies whenever possible.
I did really enjoy Gone, Baby, Gone. But he directed it so I didn’t actually have to see him) And Gigli has Jennifer Lopez in it, too?! No repeat of Benifer, please. It’s bad enough she’s all over my tv machine now, after her divorce, getting her marketing on.
32: Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre?
I don’t think I have.
I try to stick it out until the end, since I’ve gone through the trouble of going there. And the seats are usually pretty comfy. And, if my snacks haven’t been finished – I’m stayin’
33: Do you peek between your fingers during the scary scenes?
No, I usually jump, cringe and sit there with my mouth open. I do cover my face when there are mice or rats on the screen. I can’t take those little buggers.
34: What was your reaction to Tatum getting killed whilst stuck in the pet door in Scream?
It’s been so long since I’ve seen Scream, that I don’t remember that specific scene.
But if you refer to question #33, that would probably be an accurate answer to this question.
35: Do dogs like you?
I think they do.
36: Would you say that you project an air of authority?
I think people who don’t know me think I look mean or tough. People who know me realize I’m just sweet and kinda cranky.
37: Do people listen when you speak?
38: How are your elbows? Are they okay?
My elbows are fine. What the hell kind of question is that?
39: What is one thing that you do exceptionally well? Be honest.
I listen very well.
There is one more thing I’m really good at, but that’s for a different kind of blog.
40: Do you use torrents?
I used to download stuff back in the day when Napster was around. Then people started getting sued and I got nervous and stopped.
41: When was the last time you paid for music?
I think I purchased a download from Amazon last year. I haven’t bought an actual CD in years, and I have yet to purchase anything on iTunes.
42: Are you addicted to technology?
I wouldn’t say I’m addicted, but I would definitely have a problem if my computer
crashed. A few months ago it was out of commission for about 3 days (it kept telling me there was no operating system installed. Scared the bejeezus out of me) I have information on it, access to stuff I need to take care of. I was a mini basket case.
43: Pick a person (you don’t need to give their name). How do you feel about them? Be as honest as you can get yourself to be.
I love this woman to pieces.
She’s such a good person. She’s smart and funny, sarcastic and adventurous. I kinda want to be her when I grow up. (Even though she’s younger than me) And she sends me tea!!
44: Do you check your computer’s dictionary for the definition of words you’d otherwise feel confident about using during in-person interactions? Just to be sure?
Not for in-person interactions, but when I’m writing something or commenting on an article I check the dictionary to see if I’ve got the right word in mind. I also check the thesaurus to see if there’s a better or more interesting way of saying what I want to convey. When I play scrabble online, I check that dictionary ‘cuz some of the words that pop up – I don’t even know what the heck they are.
45: How heavily to you rely on spellcheck and autocorrect?
Since I don’t have a smartphone and I don’t text I don’t have to worry about autocorrect.
I do use spell check (most of the time) when I’m writing something.
46: Have you ever gotten into an argument on the internet? Did you win?
a couple of times. And they started it!! But I don’t think there’s any sort of “win” there because I end up getting frustrated and annoyed from the stupidity of a total stranger who doesn’t even matter in the course of my daily life.
47: Do you pause movies/TV shows if you have to go to the bathroom or the kitchen, or do you just let them keep playing?
I pause or stop them for the bathroom. Since the kitchen right next to the tv room (my bedroom) I just turn up the volume and try to keep one eye on the happenings onscreen.
48: If you use a regular alarm clock, do you have it set to music or that obnoxious beeping?
When I used a regular alarm clock I set it to music.
And frequently abused the snooze button.
49: Peter Pan?
What exactly is the question?
Have I heard of Peter Pan? Yes. Have I read Peter Pan? No. Have I seen the Disney movie? Yes. Do I want to be Peter Pan? No. Do I have a pair of green tights? No.
50: How often do you fall up the stairs?
I think I’ve only done it 2 or 3 times. It’s not a regular occurrence.
51: Do you pronounce “anti” as ant-eye or ant-ee? (Example: “That scene was very anticlimactic.”)
52: Do you pronounce “via” as vee-uh or vie-uh? (Example: “We can get there via Tremont Street.”)
53: How often do you forget to close your parentheses?
I usually close my parentheses